


given enough coffee i could rule the world

by Samsonet



Category: Archvillain -- Barry Lyga
Genre: Coffeeshop AU, Drabble
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-24
Updated: 2016-07-04
Packaged: 2018-05-15 23:06:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5803861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Samsonet/pseuds/Samsonet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kyle goes to the same coffee place every time. There's a reason.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

On principle, Kyle hated chain coffeeshops. He hated the overpriced drinks they served and the wannabe writers that took up all the good seats. He hated the pastries and the paper cups.

But this place was different. This was where Superkid worked at.

Obviously his real name wasn't Superkid. That's what Kyle called him, though, in his head. Even though he knew the guy's real name was Mike. Even though the "kid" had to be around Kyle's own age and would probably be insulted by the nickname. Maybe. Kyle wasn't sure if Superkid even cared about that kind of stuff.

Maybe he'd never know. The way things were going -- Kyle dropping by every other day for a latte macchiato yet refusing to say any more than was strictly necessary -- the odds of them actually becoming friends seemed very low. It wasn't like Mike cared about Kyle outside of the job, and this stupid coffeeshop.

Superkid grinned when he saw Kyle. "The usual?"

"Yeah."

And Mike was off, scribbling on the cup and putting the drink together.

After a few minutes, the other barista called out, "Latte macchiato for... Prankster?"

Kyle choked. He caught Superkid's eye -- and the Superkid had the nerve to wink at him. Kyle blushed as he claimed the drink.

So Superkid had noticed him.

Kyle left the coffeeshop smiling.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was going to be a oneshot, but then this tumblr post came on my dash:
> 
> http://bombing.tumblr.com/post/136336439498/at-starbucks
> 
> I couldn't resist.

The next time Kyle comes, there's a new barista at the counter.

"Hey," the barista says.

"Um, hi." Kyle doesn't know what to think. He glances at the new guy's name tag: Jack. "Um. What happened to the other guy that was working here?"

"Mike is sick," Jack says, like he's said it a thousand times this morning. "It's only a stomach bug, he'll be back next week. What would you like to order?"

Well, he's not going to order a latte macchiatto, not when Mike isn't there. Kyle quickly scans the menu and comes up with "The iced cafe mocha, please. For Kyle."

"Got it."

It doesn't take long for Jack to call out, "Cafe mocha for Kyle."

Which would be a good thing, except... "Uh, I ordered an iced drink. This is really, really hot."

Jack smiles. "Just like you."

Kyle decides he'd rather not makes a fuss about it.

What is it with the baristas at this place?


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> http://paperscissorsrocket.tumblr.com/post/138777984582/pissfreak-the-most-confusing-thing-that-happens
> 
> Chapter four is on its way. It'll be longer so it might take a bit...

"So this guy comes in, orders a drink with a ton of whipped cream, and he says, 'this is a really girly drink, isn't it'. What does that even mean? Drinks are drinks. I like whipped cream. Who does this guy think he is? I don't even..."

It was three in the morning. Mike listened, still half-asleep, to his coworker complaining about... customers? gender roles? something? He wasn't sure.

"And these customers! They're so... beautiful. I hate it. This job was supposed to give me a steady supply of wannabe writers to mock on my blog. Not these... people."

Absently, Mike noted that Jack didn't swear. Which was good. Mike didn't like it when people swear.

He felt himself drifting off again.

"MIKE. Do not fall asleep on me. I am going to rant for at least an hour, and you need to hear all of it."

"I'm here," Mike said, eyes closed.

"You better be. So this guy comes in, and he's -- he's rare, you know what I mean? And he orders an iced cafe mocha. And I wanna mess with him so I give him a hot one instead, but then when he complains, I told him he was hot! Where did that even come from. I do not know..."


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So unfortunately I won't get to do anything Valentine's-y with my boyfriend, but at least I had the chance to write this. :)
> 
> Hope you like it!

Mairi was down the street, sipping her drink of choice (she was a fruit smoothie kind of person) when Kyle came out of The Coffee Place. She knew something was wrong immediately; partly because of the look on his face, and partly because his drink smelled like chocolate.

"There's a new barista today," he said.

Okay. That explained... a little.

"He might have been flirting with me? I'm not sure?"

Ah. "What about Mike, though?"

"Superkid," Kyle corrected. "And I don't care about him at all. In fact, both of them are nothing more than super arrogant if very attractive baristas. He just... caught me off guard, that's all."

That was all he'd say about it.

***

A week later, Mairi set her schedule ten minutes fast. This didn't change much, but it did allow her to visit The Coffee Place before Kyle.

She didn't see what annoyed him so much. It was a coffee shop, with beige walls and comfortable chairs. She felt like buying a donut and hanging out until it was time for Astronomy Club.

But that would mean being there when Kyle came in. And that would, in turn, mean explaining that she came over to make sure the coffee people were treating him right, which would make Kyle sulk for days. He hated being babied.

So she got in (the very short) line and planned her order.

The barista today was cute: blond, blue-eyed, with freckles. Mike, his nametag said. He grinned when he saw her. For a second Mairi wondered if Kyle might have described her to him, but that was silly. Mike worked here, of course he smiled at everyone.

"Hello."

"Hi," she said, returning the smile. "Just an iced coffee, please. For Mairi."

"You got it."

He went to fill the cup. Mairi stood to the side, considering.

This guy definitely looked like a Superkid. He seemed kind enough, sweet, like everything he wore was made of boyfriend material. Of course, if he actually started dating Kyle, he'd have to go through some more difficult tests, but for right now he was okay.

"Iced coffee for Mairi?" the other barista called out.

Mairi went over to claim her drink. As the barista held it out to her, he froze. He stared at her like he'd never seen anyone so beautiful in his life.

Somehow, Mairi could just tell this was the same guy who'd confused Kyle so much.

"What's your name?" she asked.

"Mad-- um. Jack. Jack Stanley," he said. "My dad owns this place."

"That's cool," Mairi said, looking around. There were a grand total of three customers still in the shop, including herself. According to Kyle, the place was always busy when he was there.

...which would be any minute now.

She turned back to Jack, lowering her voice. "Hey, my friend has a crush on your coworker there. Do you think you could convince him to come with us on a double date?"

Jack's smile dropped a fraction of an inch. "...Yeah. Sure. Though… I hope it's not too nosy, but… who would you be going with?"

Mairi grinned. "‘Come with us,'" she repeated, pointing to herself and then to Jack when she said "us".

"Ah, I see. Consider it done," Jack said.

Mairi wrote a time and place on a napkin and handed it to him. Then she explained that her friend would be coming in soon so she had to go, but keep it a secret from everyone but Mike, okay?"

"Okay," Jack called as Mairi walked out the doors.

When she saw Kyle later, she'd tell him about a surprise she'd planned for him.

Kyle might be the king of pranks, but he'd never see it coming.


	5. Sometimes Things Work Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Jack is confused and jealous.

The day of the date, Mairi gets Kyle to come with her to the Livingston Aquarium. It's an hour-long bus ride, but Kyle would go to the ends of the earth for her.

Platonically.

Which is why she considers it her duty to find him someone who'll go to the ends of the earth for him, romantically.

They arrive eight minutes before the arranged time. Mairi isn't sure if their dates are arriving early or late or even together, so she starts looking even as she pays admission.

She sees them standing outside the gift shop.

Mike is immediately recognizable even with his back turned; he’s tall, athletic, traditionally handsome. Jack stands next to him. Even though they’re the same height, Jack’s thin frame and dark clothes make him seem smaller, more withdrawn. Mairi smiles. She’s chosen well.

She covers Kyle’s eyes. “Follow me.”

Kyle follows her with only mild complaining.

When they’re right next to their dates, Mairi takes her hands off Kyle’s face and says, “Surprise!”

Jack acknowledges them with a nod.

Kyle and Mike, the ones Mairi expected to be surprised, show no signs of confusion whatsoever. Mike waves. “Hey, K.”

Kyle grins back. “Hey, M.”

***

What happened was this.

Mike overheard Jack and Mairi’s conversation. He didn’t mean to -- it was just, when your job requires you to stay in a five-foot radius of your coworker, you sometimes forget boundaries are a thing. So he’d known about the date before Jack had said anything about it.

He would have blankly refused. After all, he’d had something planned for himself that day. But then he got a phone call:

“Mike?”

“Kyle! Great to hear from you. How can I help?”

There’s a sigh on the other end of the line, like Kyle doesn’t want to say what he’s about to say. “You know the movie date on the third? Can we move it back a week?”

“Of course,” Mike says without thinking. He’s a pushover in general, but when it comes to his favorite customer he really can’t say no. “Got a test?”

“No, it’s…” A pause. “My friend is insisting we go to the aquarium that day. She won’t take no for an answer. I’m sorry. I owe her. A lot.”

“I completely understand,” Mike says. And he does. There’s a jealous whisper in the back of his head, but he pushes it aside. He’d never had that kind of friendship before, and he’s not going to criticize someone lucky enough to have it.

Kyle is still talking. “Like, Mairi has always been super cool. When I came out she was super supportive. And -- ”

“Wait a minute, Mairi?”

“Yeah. M-A-I-R-I.”

The name sounds familiar. Mike rewinds his day until he realizes where he’s seen it before.

“And she wanted you to go to the aquarium with her?”

“...yeah.”

Mike thinks about it. “Actually, it’s funny you mention that…”

***

“You mean you knew,” Mairi says, flatly.

“Yeah, we knew,” Kyle answers. He really shouldn’t be smiling -- Mairi put all this effort into surprising him, and it feels rude to ruin it.

But that’s what Pranking is all about, isn’t it? Always surprising people. Keeping them on their toes.

Mairi rolls her eyes, but she’s smiling, so Kyle thinks she understands.

The four of them walk. 

There aren’t many places where Kyle feels comfortable. School? Full of extremely dim people -- or worse, people who are just clever enough to feel good about themselves but not clever enough to do anything with their intelligence. Robotics club? Same problem, except there people think they can just talk to Kyle and things will be fine, ‘cause surely a common interests means two random students will get along fine. Home? Doesn’t even need an explanation.

The aquarium is always nice, though. Fish don’t take things too seriously. They swim around and mind their own business.

The overwhelming blue-ness is relaxing, too. In general, the color blue gives Kyle a feeling of purpose and determination, like a message from a parallel universe.

Mike is the best date. He mispronounces half of the animals’ names and sometimes says things that are so ridiculous Kyle can’t tell if he’s joking, but on Mike it’s cute.

(Seriously, though, who didn’t know that fish can breathe underwater?)

Mairi’s date, Jack, seems a bit awkward throughout the whole thing. Kyle’s not sure why he’s even here, but he figures it’s probably not the right time to ask.

When they stop in the aquarium’s small cafeteria/soup-and-salad bar, Kyle asks a different question. “So. How’d you end up at the coffee place?”

“My dad owns it,” Jack announces, like it’s his accomplishment.

Mike nods, his own grin growing wider. “Mr. Lundergaard is really nice! He gave me a job and he’s really flexible about hours. It’s a great place to work.”

“Oh, yeah,” Jack says. “I’m an English major, I spend a lot of time studying. Education is important, particularly to someone as intelligent as myself.”

“I’m on my second semester of college myself,” Mike replies. Then, to Kyle: “I started early.”

Jack: “Did I tell you about my blog? I’ve got twenty thousand followers.”

Mike: “Oh, cool! I have a blog, too! It’s on tumblr!”

It was times like these that Kyle is grateful for Mairi’s social skills. She smoothly gathers everyone’s trash and said, “I’ll throw this away and we’ll go see the sharks?”

“Yes,” the boys say together.

***

They pass the shark tanks. Jack asks Kyle, “Which one is your favorite?”

Kyle shrugs, points to a small shark in the bottom of the tank.

Jack rolls up his sleeves.

He bets Mike wouldn’t fight a shark to prove his love.


End file.
